Who I Am

Minerva Marin, Journal Entry.

WHO I AM

     My name is Minerva Marin, presently twenty years old and residing at my aunt’s house. Well I try to live my life as happy as I can and to do my very best always but there are sometimes that things just don’t go how I would like them to go. I was in a relationship just minutes ago and now I feel that I am all alone just some small things that I am not even sure if it was my fault or not, not that I am trying to blame things on others but I find it difficult to be me. I really like to be honest and want that others around me be honest too.  I am a responsible kind of person but now a day I just tend to forget things a lot and don’t know why. I don’t like to lie and as a matter of fact I can’t lie even though I am willing to do it I just can’t do it, and I thing that it is because of my good. From my parents I see forward to obtain love and care. Also I look for that from all my family members.  When it comes to my partner I want honesty, trustworthiness and loyalty. When I say something which I really would love to happen I mean it. I am not that much of an active person but I like sports and I am afraid of getting involved in it. I just love to watch football games as well as basketball games. Nevertheless I think that I am not good at it and don’t want to be embarrassed and that is the main reason for me not to get involved in sports.  I really think and am pretty sure that I hove a low self esteem because I can’t really tell my talents in fact, I don’t even think that I have talents because everything I do ends up being a disaster most of the time. Just to give an example I have been in two different relations and on both I end up hurt and losing. The only thing I am good at is at being alone and having intrapersonal communication. I love being alone and try to meditate and think of all the things that happen to me and try to find an answer to my questions. Another thing which I really enjoy doing is dealing with mathematical problems but my weakness is that as soon as I do a mistake I can’t solve the problem and if seek for help I would always end up getting myself confused. Am not that much of a patient person and I want that people have me patience, I see this wrong because why would I ask for patience when me myself don’t have it for others! Really I don’t understand myself at times! I think that some of my strengths is that I am kind to others and I would like to help others as soon as I have the opportunity to do so, that is one of the things my aunt does and I see her as a role model. She is the one that is presently paying me my education and she is good and cares for me. I really thing that to improve my weaknesses I would need a lot of help from others and especially have the courage to fight against them. I must always try to think positive and would want to become a better person. Actually my current role as a student is to do all my best, as a friend is to be friendly and try to guide my friends to keep aiming for what they want to achieve. My role as a family member is to make my family proud of my achievements and also to become who I want to be in order for them not to be ashamed of me. Well when it comes to roles with a partner I just want to say that I will try to tell thing straight to the point and be more serious than I actually am, also to try to really show my feelings and tell what I really think. I have learned that a partner is there to be with you in good and in the bad times. I will try to fight against all odds!! It will be for my happiness!! Think Positive!! And that thing and circumstances happen for one reason!!

Minerva Marin, March 2, 2011, PD 275

     Theories of the Neurotic Needs that Karen Horney came up with are today considered one of the best theories that ever existed. Karen Horney looked at neurosis in different perspectives in which she said that it was much more continuous with normal life than other theorists believed. To add more to this she also saw neurosis as an attempt to make life bearable as an interpersonal controlling and coping technique. Karen thought that the fact of thinking that neurosis in adults is caused by abuse or neglect in one’s childhood was a tremendous mistake. She rejected opinions of others who believed neurosis was, like more severe mental conditions, a negative malfunction of the mind in response to external stimuli, such as bereavement, divorce or negative experiences during childhood and adolescence. She gave it a name of ‘parental indifference’ to the culprit behind neurosis. Horney said that the key thing one must do to understand this concept of neurosis is the child’s perception and not the parent’s intentions. The reason for this is that a child can feel that he/she doesn’t have or get warmth and affection if a parent is occupied or neurotic themselves, laughs and makes fun of children and doesn’t fulfill promises. Horney developed and named ten particular neurotic needs and to her perspective these are based on things that all humans need and maybe sometimes these are miscarried due to difficulties that have occurred within their lives on past occasions. Furthermore when she began more indebt investigations of these Neurotic Needs she came up with a conclusion that these can be joined and broaden into three topics rather than ten of them. The first one is Compliance, the second is Aggression and the third one is detachment. The Compliance category is seen as a process of "moving towards people", or self-effacement. Under Horney's theory children facing difficulties with parents often use this strategy. Fear of helplessness and abandonment occurs—phenomena Horney refers to as "basic anxiety". Those within the compliance category tend to exhibit a need for affection and approval on the part of their peers. They may also seek out a partner, somebody to confide in, fostering the belief that, in turn, all of life's problems would be solved by the new cohort. A lack of demands and a desire for inconspicuousness both occur in these individuals. The second category is Aggression category, also called the "moving against people", or the "expansive" solution. Neurotic children or adults within this category often exhibit anger or basic hostility to those around them. There is a need for power, a need for control and exploitation. Manipulative qualities aside, under Horney's assertions the aggressive individual may also wish for social recognition, not necessarily in terms of limelight, but in terms of simply being known by peers alike. In addition, the individual has needs for a degree of personal admiration by those within this person's social circle and, lastly, for raw personal achievement. These characteristics comprise the "aggressive" neurotic type. Aggressive types also tend to keep people away from them. On the other hand, they only care about their wants and needs. They would do whatever they can to be happy and wouldn't desist from hurting anyone. And last but not least the other one is detachment needs and this category is also called the "moving-away-from" or "resigning" solution or a detached personality. Horney recognized that children might simply try to become self sufficient. All in all I strongly think that these neurotic needs really are very up to life. The neurotic needs can help people really a lot in trying to know their personalities.